I FAILED......(FOR THE CHILDREN WHO WANNA GROW UP FAST)

Journey of my life commenced with a cry,
i was a my mum and dads deformed try..

 I was a little baby girl who gave a little smile..
i never had  special or any peculiar style..
i was proud but sometimes sad to be a girl..
i always assumed that i am never a precios pearl..

I always was busy with books or thinking something crap..
Never did any thing naughty never  got a slap..
children played in the park , streets and loitered around..
i used to lie in terrace and stared at clouds..

My bro was a gamer and the mine of mischeif..
i sat and saw him doing ,dats the memory i keep..
i completed my homeworks daily coz i was scared..
but never understood dat feeling of punishment was also rare..

I  saw  my brother begging things frm mum and tried his best
i felt like doing it but had uneccesary self respect..
HE got things with lots of tumult and fyt..
i was left with fucking self ego loosing all rights..

NOW when i have a desire to demand something
i want to give my father a desiring ping..
i think hundred times before asking him..
coz i built that distance and now it stings,,

 I see children doing all naughty stuff..
i want to join them but now its tough..
i made my childhood hell..
i wud go back if had some magic spell..

i never elucidated my childhood to anyone..
coz it never had silly memories and neither fun..
but it was a boat of life which has already sailed..
THIS IS THE AGE OF MY LIFE WHERE I FAILED..

I am genuinely fed up of being SAD
oh!GOD plzz turn me to a LAD 
i also want to break hearts and do BAD.


I L also enjoy TEQUILA and  RUM,
mess everything around and  have FUN..
I l chase d galz and roam on BIKES,
make my own gang and fight with GUYS..


I really wanna once know how good it FEELS,
on ignoring her calls and all message BEEPS..
I  l tell her -never  love me. I AM BAD..
will neva think b4 saying dat shes happy or SAD.


I will ignore all "I LOVE U" she'll say to me,
i'll soar like a FREE BIRD over the SEA..
I l avoid her eyes when she looks lovingly at me..


I really wanna undergo the strength boys have in them,
to keep her waiting d entire nyt and enjoy with friends..
I'LL also mock at her whenever she cries,
never understand her pain as much as she tries..
  
But now i feel ,life is REAL...
i shouldn't wish for the things i can never have,
I'LL mock at you, whenever you come back..
hide my feelings in the core of my heart..


I'LL DATE WID GUYS AND TELL DEM THEY ARE FOOL..
let the people cry .i'll be cool..
COZ WHEN I CRIED I WAS'NT A FOOL!! 

feelings will tarnish......

DO i only deserve to cry,Instead of giving millions of try...

I gave my attention,love and soul..
i bought you gifts of each penny i stored..


I even loved the way u made my fun,
looking at you secretly even in the bright sun..
never knew it would be an endless run..


 Collecting love from every corner of my heart..
i said you"i love you yaar"
I expected a reply which you told me earlier,
but i was replaced by your successful carrier..


Lying in blanket and weeping like hell..
"chill out" were the consoling words you said..


Slowly and gradually my emotions will vanish..
Feelings will be same but expression will Tarnish.


I will look at you with empty eyes..
my feelings will be like hidden stars in sky..
I waana ask u..........me!y???

TO MOVE ON IS EASY????

I have never been on such a ground where i feel ------------

                                                                             IRRITATED,when i see girls laughing and tolking all stuffs about new brands of lip colors and accessories, I feel everything and everybody around me is faking around.When i look at guys staring at me i dont feel any tinge of harsh or sweet feeling inside me.When a guy flirts with me i dont blush anymore,rather i give no expressions which creates a blank incomprehensible meaning in my eyes.The silence which i craved for in past which made me feel peace coz i used to think about you,now that silence enters my heart like a ghost and shakes me from inside and then comes out in the form of tears from my eyes.Deactivating every social network websites account,throwing my cell at the corner of my bed,watching my favorite television programme nothing helps my senses to regain the strength back,but your single text message energizes every nerve of my body....YOU say me to move on......when i guy approaches me says me i love u.....i like a passive listener just keep on understanding what did the guy said?.....and the person leaves me thinking i m mad.........i laugh wid my parents for a moment i feel everything is allright...and then suddenly a wind of the truth that the night is coming which will eat your soul up wid his memory ............i stop laughing.my mind, heart, evry thing goes still.AT nights my blanket and pillow consoles me and i keep making dem wet.........................................................AND U SAY....."YOU HAVE MADE YOUR LIFE HELL"...............I NEVER WANTED TO MAKE MY LIFE DIS WAY BECOZ I KNOW HOW MUCH IT PAINS..........................
                                                                             

Tears Changed To Smile…..!!!

I packed my bags with tearful eyes....

Everyone showed me smile , but I heard their cries

I gathered immense courage and a smile on face.

 As the train parted by heartbeat gained pain.

Unaware of the atmospher , unaware of professionalism

I loved to be the captive of my home’s prison .

But I had to leave home , had to follow my aim.

Now I realized “ Life is a tough game.

I came to the flat it was totally alone.

I cried in bathroom missing my Mom.

After some time my roommates arrived with a smile.

But my memories were as long as Nile.

I ran away to my sister to reduce my pain.

I knew there is still lots of confidence I have to gain.

My sis told me to go back and interact.

I did’nt knew what to speak or when joke to crack.

Oh!! Thank God…!!

I had fantastic fate I got 3 Stupid “Like me” roommates

When I saw the first “Laachari”

Dropped of her face.

But later I knew she has a bad fate.

She has a drop of blood and erect spine

Chopping vegetables is her favourite passtime

Covered cellphone with desi ringtones.

I bet if you could solve the riddle that –“ she’s sleeping or chatting via phone.

Something I admire is her Transparent Heart.

Sometimes I feel she was my “Patni” in past.

The second one is total different case.

Because when it comes to illness her no organ is safe.

She has experienced almost every accident in life.

When she walks, she flies like a kite.

She’s expert in cleaning and calculating bills….

In her cupboard she has thousands of pills.

All I know is her smart and helping mind.

If you loose your things in room she is a key to find.

The last is with the least mind.

Its just a joke I hope she never minds.

Her perfect companion is her cub and her lappy.

Everything she read she notes down in a copy.

She loves Fanta and dislike Coke…

You will die of explaning but she never comprehends our joke.

In her little horizon of mind

She has lot of worries.

To utilize her time in a bus stop she learns vocabulary…ha ha ha..

With distinct character we make a family…

We get scared a lot with “baccha” and “Emily”.

We share no Grudge and fights are too far…

Something we are actually fed up is uncle “Fart”. ;-)

LEARNING TO BEAR.

Closing my eyes i lie on a bed,
memorizing the last words he said.
Those words were like a cluster of clouds,
thundering together but no sense found .


I opened my eyes and took a glance of a blue sky,
a sudden flash of memory came across my mind.
When your love was pure and kind,
the moments of love and touch were divine.


A drop of a tear assured me at last,
it was nice time but now is a mere past.
I rose from my bed and switched on my cell
just had some forwarded msgs and set the alarm bell.


With uncontrolled heart and revolting mind,
i opened the inbox conversation,where his name shined..
he wrote-"cant be your boyfriend will think it over when i m done with my carrier issues"
I got a deep tinge of agony,every hope was dark still memories were sunny.


I look at the wooden band he gave,and all those small things i
 save.
now ,my body is a empty cave where your love was totally raised.



All day and night with with empty mind i sit,
anyone meets asks-"how is he?"
i keep silent or give vague replies,
coz now i m fed of giving telling lies..


Should i text him or not?
in nights pushing my head in pillow and cry is all i v got,
My best freinds advice me to forget everything,
i try erasing but still it stings...


Now i have decided to keep the pain inside,
carry it with a smile and pride......................NIHARIKA

BREAK UP-NOT THE END OF LIFE

DON'T STOP!Move forward sweetheart,
so what if you had a dreadful past.


The dark clouds will lead to rain,
you will have to go through endless pain.
The pain which neither can be healed nor shared,
you will cry seeing the love pairs.


BUT!HEY!STOP!


Have you ever noticed the beauty after rain'
the heat of joy after the pain..
May be you think it will never come,
but baby life has endless run.


The day you will find the brightness which will come,
then you will need no whiskey no rum.
The life will render u endless fun.


Your love once would have said-"i cant be with you"
you should not be angry with god  because he showed you the truth


You say the love column of your life is ruined but filled,
the inner ecstasy have been killed.
BUT! u remember wen our parents taught,
"honey!life is painful but pain has a stop".


The day you will stand with complete will power,
sorrow will fear to come and joy will shower.
God has kept something for you..
its not myth i m very true.


Think about the day you'll accomplish your first salary,
their will be happiness roaming in your life's each galary.
Your mother's lovely smile of proud 'no more dad's shout.
Brother demanding you some bucks,
you will shop lots of stuff.


LIFE NEVER REMAINS THE WAY IT IS..
U WILL BE PISSED IF U KISS.....HHAHAHA...WAS GETTING NO RHYME.


JUST TO MAKE PEOPLE SMILE WHO FEEL BREAKUP IS END.

I WANT TO FEEL YOU COMPLETELY.

I stand here holding your palm.The grip of your palm thought would be unseperable,The love bonds will be stable.I want everything to be in the way it is right now.I m holding your hand .....the roughness of your hand depicts to me as if u r saying.."darling i work hard fior you." I close my eyes to absorb the wave of satisfying tears struggling out of my eyes,i swallow the lump in my throat.I remember the past when you were away and i used to clutch those hallucinated hands in the air and the sudden blow of air made me feel-"i am not your lovers hand!"at that time that emptiness tore my feelings and the emptiness of my hands ran down to my heart and i was left with empty soul.......THAT IS THE REASON I WANT TO FEEL EVERY SECOND I M WITH U!!
                                 MISS YOU A LOT!

Empty Morning...

I don't comprehend the meaning of this morning,where I lie on my bed just imagining the past wen he was just next to me..holding my hands...or wen my mother woke me up by kissing my cheeks..or wen my father came repeatedly and told me the time..to make me realize how late I was...my bro coming and snatching my blanket or throwing water over me..but today I lie alone and those memories just come outt through a drop if tear from the corner of ma eyes.

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Girlfriends Of Soldiers

We the G.f of soldiers are given the curse of Waiting

Our Heart erupts & patience keeps on Abating.

" Our day starts with a Fear
Whole day our eyes are filled with Tear.

We meet our soul mate twice in a Year.

That time " I LOVE U SWEETHEART " seems something we were dying to Hear.

They have to go back this upcoming departure or be happy on their Arrival.

That time Heart seems amiable & mind seems Rival.

Thinking about the reasons to make them Stay.

We nearly die thousand times in a Day.

Every time with our heart they Play.

And before we could express our feeling they run Away.

So at last we stand in a desolate Lane.

Waiting for them to hold our hand Again.

Everyday we see this dream but in Vain.

Because none comes & daily we go through endless Pain.

So for making us wet tear are enough no need of Rain.

They are like Moon & we are like Sun.

We both give light but can not be One.

Despite having same feeling we can not Meet.

Due to this seperation one bears the cold & other bears the Heat.

But Moon is having atleast stars for having Fun.

On other side Sun keeps on weeping because of having None."

We know they Love us but why do not they Show.

We silently agree with them, just thinking that the time will Grow.

A FIGHT WITHIN.-for the guys who miss their love.

When i see those beautiful hands,
my heart wants me to take a stand,that
go lad clutch them tight;

but then my mind reminds me of the last fight.


She has the ego,let her suffer..
let her realize the pain i guzzle.
my mind says-"no dear dont bend!
or else u always have to repent"


When i see her sad,my heart says-
"u are a careless lad,
so what if she insulted you,
proove again that your love was true"


She is strong and can live well,
why should i make my life hell?
mind says-"see she is laughing,
without even noticing the pain u r passing"


When i remember that rugby match we played,
i clutched  her waist and her face went pale..
she turned back and gave me a smile,
since then she was the queen of ma life.


Mind SAYS-'she never cries for you,but always keeps on smiling,
were ll those feeling crap which my heart was compiling?


ONE DAY she calles and said-"you never turned up to c me
i thought you were a caring lad..


I SMILED AND REPLIED  
"U wear pink nail paint and my gifted watch..
your waist is still the same as was in match..
your eyes are empty and cheeks are pale..
NO COMMENTS FOR YOUR HEART COZ DAT IS WHERE I FAILED....."
                                                                                                BY NIHARIKA

BUDDIES DAYS....for the present twelthy batch.

Chewing gums and other's tiffin box;

eating them during the hindi class..

                                                                              collective bargaining for not studying 

flying kisses and eyes twinkling..

a single pen without a cap;

staring the blackboard with the love letter on the lap.

waxed legs with ankle length socks;

long nails and short skirts rocks.

newly looking books and uncompleted copies;

completing the work at the principals office.

innocent faces while sitting at class;
                                                                               throwing chalks as the recess starts..

passing repeatedly from the door of gf,s class

in the history class thinking of our past..

giving her smiles and flying the kisses;

hiding the copy wen the homework misses.

thats what is schhol life ...

so enjoy it with extreme hieght..

                                                                                     By -Niharika 

SAD ENDING-FOR GALS WHO LEARN JUST TO SACRIFICE.

You left me alone with your promises;
I TRUSTED THEM.
U gave me some harsh comments;
I TOOK THEM.
U told me u always cant be with me;
I UNDERSTOOD.
U held my hands and kissed them;
I FELT IT.
U threw my hands away and shouted;
I SILENTLY HEARD IT.

U wanted me to become yours completely;
I BECAME.
U wanted me to endure the pain of separation
I WAITED.
U wanted me to be neutral with no expectations;
I KILLED THEM ALL.
U came back and asked ,"what can i do for u?"
I LOOKED BACK AT ALL SACRIFICES AND ASKED
"CAN U LOVE ME ONCE?"
AND THEN...................................
..........................................................
U TOLD -"CANT ASK ANYTHING ELSE"
                                                                                         BY -NIHARIKA 

POEM-MISS YOU MY FOOTBALL.

Plenty of rains and a football game..
making paper boats and clapping when it floats..
collecting steakers,games and cars..
no tension of carrier as it is tooo far.

girls collecting rubberbands and colorful clips..
begging 10 bcks from mum to buy chips..
a very little horizon of mind..

thoughts are unreal and heart is kind.


boys widening their eyes on a look of imported bikes..
hiding in washroom and practicing making spikes..
sitting wid family and watching television..
on intimate scene smiling wid naughty vision.


galz forming groups and bitching others..darling of fathers and companion of mothers..
want to go out like their brothers for  nyt out..
but is a plan backed by mummas shout..


wearing dresses of mothers choice,which is full of colors widout a spice..
asking brothers phone to play a game 
reading his gfs message widout a shame..


growning up hairs and and styling dem on going out..
all turn to army cut after the dads shout..
forming groups after coaching slot...
classifing gals dat who are hot..


hering the word "affair" eyes bulge out of socket..
wishes are loud but an empty pocket..
when mom combs hairs it seems unfair
dying for freinds at any season..
and giving treats widout a reason....


it is called the age of sunshine..
later only exhausted sun is left widout a shine......


                                                                                      By-Niharika